StarWarsClassics

One of his fellow crewmembers on the New Republic escort cruiser Adamantine found him slumped across the table in the deck-nine break room, where he’d repaired half an hour previously for a cup of coffeine. Twenty minutes after Barak should have been back to post, Gunnery Sergeant Gallie Wover went looking for him, exasperatedly certain that he’d clicked into the infolog banks “just to see if anybody mentions the mission.” HOW DID SOMEONE GET PAID TO WRITE THIS SHIT? 1. Repaired. This isn't some novel of manners (I guess it could be if Leia showed up), repaired means fixed something, not went somewhere. (Adler would yell about coming to terms.) 2. he’d clicked into the infolog banks “just to see if anybody mentions the mission."  That's not an English sentence. I have no idea what that means. Is it saying that he started doom scrolling looking for their own mission? Infolog sounds like it'd be a log book or something, shouldn't the mission be mentioned repeatedly? ...

Darksaber Most of one good book+Half of one bad book=One long Darksaber Was not expecting a Kevin J. Anderson outing to be as good. After the "one book stretched to a trilogy" of the Corellian Trilogy, it was kind of weird to see this pretty complicated doorstopper. Summary: Durga the Hutt gets the Death Star plans and use it to build THE DARKSABER, which is basically just the super laser with engines strapped to it for greater efficiency. Meanwhile, Callista and Luke go on dates/try to reawaken her Jedi powers. Meanwhile, Daala is back, and is actually kinda competent until like 80% of the way through the book. Introduced: The Darksaber : This week's Death Star variant. It's a failure. Insanely Overpowered Jedi: Like 12 Jedi (barely even done training) hold off an entire Imperial fleet. Bevel Lemelisk: Not the first mention, but first use as a proper character. The Death Star's designer. Repeatedly executed and resurrected by Palpatine. Commentary:  Like I said a...

 As you might've saw on the other blog (no one reads this.) I'm doing a mental health calendar that work put out this month. Today is journaling. I've never been a big journaler in the traditional sense, I don't really think whatever random stuff I'm thinking or feeling that day is worth writing down and remembering. But, I've been doing these blog every day for almost a year and a half now, so jokes on me, I guess. Star Wars Classics began as a way to read something a little more relaxing in between the classics I was doing for the other blog. If you've followed along. It is, honestly, not really all that relaxing right now. The 1994-1995 class of  Star Wars  novels aren't very good. The Jedi Academy Trilogy is hamfisted, Courtship of Princess Leia is vaguely offensive and nonsensical,  Crystal Star  is just awkward, and Children of the Jedi  will hopefully be on my top 5 worst books for as long as I live. But I am looking forward to next year, The X-...

  Children of the Jedi Kevin J Anderson might write the best book in this trilogy. So, I thought it'd be fun to keep the review for the worst Star Wars book I'd read up until that point in my pocket, and release it if I came up with a worse book. I really thought Courtship of Princess Leia  would hold up for a while. I was wrong. Summary: Luke gets kidnapped by the AI of a crazy asteroid super weapon that's summoned by a kid using the Force. He falls in love with a computer-ghost, his student sacrifices herself and the computer ghost takes over her body. Hand and Leia... exist? What It Introduces: The Eye of Palpatine:  The dumbest superweapon the Empire ever created (and that's saying something) no superlaser or anything, it's just a ton of turbolasers strapped to an asteroid. Controlled by literature's dumbest super-ai. Callista Ming: Dead Jedi Knight computer/Force ghost. She wants to bang. Cray Mingla: Luke's super hot student, who kills herself because ...

  The Courtship of Princess Leia Is Isolder on there twice, or did the artist not know how to draw Han?      I was pretty excited for this one. Isolder's an interesting character, we get to go to Dathomir, Han and Leia usually have good chemistry. Instead, it was (for approximately a year until tomorrow's novel came out) the worst Star Wars book written. What It Introduces: Dathomir and Hapes: Two female led planets! Wow, isn't that so weird and coincidental. One is a death world and the other is rich. Happan Battle Dragons and Nova Crusiers: The Happan starships. They like ion cannons and their turbo lasers are less good, so they just stack a million on there. The Battle Dragons look like space Lazy Susans and spin to shoot faster. Nightwitches: Force witches! Orbital Night Cloak: It's the umbrella ship's from the Thrawn books, but now it's a super weapon. Summary: President "My Only Character Trait is Being Fat" wants to whore Leia out to secure fund...

 That's it. That's the blog tonight.

  Showdown at Centerpoint I'm pretty sure you could take Han Solo out of this book and nothing would change. Summary: The cast gets back together and goes to Centerpoint Station , which was the "starbuster" (stupid fucking name) all along! The conspiracy is revealed! It's... no one? The Sacorrian Triad, the rulers of one of the planets in the Corellian sector who have been mentioned a few times but never appeared, are actually controlling it, and all the psuedo-rebel groups. The investigate the station and find exactly one person living there. It's apparently been inhabited all this time, but no one really knows what's up with it. There's a half-assed space battle, Ackbar shows up the save the day, Captison gets borderline deus ex machina'd/fridged, and Anakin saves the day mostly off page. What It Introduces: Centerpoint Station - We finally get some real details on Centerpoint , although still filtered through Macbride's garbage writing. It's...

  Assault at Selonia That thing in the center of the cover is the point of the book Back to the Corellian Trilogy... Oh boy... Summary: After scattering the cast at the end of the last book, they get back together in this one. Classic middle book! What it introduces: Nothing important. Commentary/Review: 1/5 After complaining about the "middle bookishness" of Ambush at Corellia , I'm here to report that Assault at Selonia  is more of the same, in a slightly different way. AaC  didn't really need to exist. It spends a whole book awkwardly maneuvering characters into position for this book. 90% of it could get chopped, and it'd be fine. AaS   has  a plot, Macbride just skips over all the good parts for some reason. Here's the 4 main plot threads: 1. Han is captured on Corellia by his cousin, Thracken. He's forced to pit fight a weasel alien, who eventually helps him escape. (The start of the book is pretty decent.) He spends most of the rest of the book craw...

Welcome to my sleep deprived ramblings as I marathon the Original Trilogy (Harmy, of course.) We're watching it in the lounge at the camp ground we go to. They have a giant martini lamp that kinda looks like the Death Star. Would that be extra dry? Next year, I should sneak one of the Cerveza Cristal clips in during ANH. For all the crap I give the Dagobah sequences in Empire,  I do appreciate Yoda's "That is why you fail," when Luke says he can't believe he can lift the X-Wing. "Bring me my shuttle," is a way better line. Vader doesn't get to emote much, and they took one of the few times he does out. Wife while Jabba is talking: Shouldn't there be subtitles? The some subtitles, some C-3PO, some no translation is odd. If you follow my other blog , you know I'm a pocket knife fan. There's a bunch of cool May 4th knife promos. Companies making lightsaber colored knives. I won a free knife from a website. It's not the fanciest, but free...