StarWarsClassics

  Jedi Search Who ya gonna call when you need a questionable tie-in novel? Summary: Two years post the Thrawn campaign (does the date jumping settle down later? I don't remember, but I sure hope so) and the year after Palpatine's last death, Luke is working to start a new Jedi academy. Leia tries to balance being a mother and a politician (Anderson is not good at women). Han goes back to Kessel to try to negotiate with the underworld there, but winds up getting captured. He escapes with the help of the Force-sensitive Kyp Durron, but only to get re-captured at The Maw Installation a secret Imperial laboratory in the middle of a nest of black holes. There, he finds the latest Imperial superweapon, The Sun Crusher. Admiral Daala, commander of the security force there, charges out to take revenge on the Rebellion for the Death of Grand Moff Tarkin. What It Introduces: The Maw and Maw Installation: The Maw is a cluster of black holes "near" (space distances are awkward) K...

  The Truce at Bakura I should start tracking the "stock" Star Wars novel plots that get used over and over again and when they first appear. 0. The Empire builds a superweapon ( ANH 1977) 1. A lost Imperial warlord, general, etc. shows up and kicks the New Republic's ass ( HttE  1991) 2. Somehow, Palpatine returned. ( DE 1991) 3. Aliens show up, forcing the Empire and New Republic to work together ( The Truce at Bakura 1993) This is the first post Thrawn trilogy adult Star Wars novel, so some big shoes to fill.  Summary: Bakura, an Imperial frontier world, is attacked and sends a message to the Emperor. It arrives the day after  RotJ and is intercepted  by a race of lizard aliens called the Ssi-ruuk who are definitely into BDSM. Leia says they should go help them to try and bring them into the fledgling New Republic. Luke (as is required at this point in the EU) gets the hots for a local, Senator Gaeriel Captison. She believes in THE COSMIC BALANCE, w...

 The first young readers series. Kids these days will never know the joy of monthly paperbacks of questionable (and possibly ghost written) quality via Scholastic catalog. These are actually really weird compared to the others, for the simple reason that they basically got chucked out of canon. Unlike Dark Empire  I don't think the necessarily deserved it. Long story short, "Ken" is a young Jedi raised by droids in a hidden city under Yavin IV. This is probably the biggest canon hurdle. Luke sets up his academy there, and there's supposed to be a whole Jedi library and stuff there? They could've destroyed it. It gets pretty badly damaged by the end of the books. He hangs around with Luke, Han (who is in maximum "cool bachelor" mode in these books), etc. as kid sidekicks were wont to do in these sorts of stories. They deal with some Imperial Moffs (who have a Moffship, a Mofference, and say "dark greetings" to each other), the Prophets of the Da...

  Dark Empire II  is... aggressively similar to the first one. Somehow, Palpatine returned, again! He has a new superweapon! (A much cooler one at least.) Empire's End is really just DEII issues 7 and 8, but with a new (slightly better) artist. Luke is trying to bring back the Jedi, Palpatine wants Anakin, etc. It's also really bad, like the first one. Boba Fett is still useless. Therefore, this entry will be mostly me mocking screencaps again. At least these are fairly fun/easy.  As opposed to before when it helped blow up both Death Stars and stuff. Guess who this is: It's Wedge Don't show them actually hitting or anything. Boba Fett: Stormtrooper? Boba Fett: Badass? Boba Fett: Bitch Chewie casually murders a droid This could've been such a cool panel if the Falcon was perpendicular Brrraaaaainsssss I know we didn't have a young Palp reference yet, but Dracula is a choice. Did they just skip a whole panel? Spoilers: Almost nothing in these comics ever comes up...

Dark Empire Bold to have cover art in a more conventional style than the interior Summary: Somehow, Palpatine returned. Luke and Lando get shot under (still Imperial controlled) Coruscant. While they're eventually rescued, some kind of big crazy force storm shows up, and Luke goes to investigate. Mon Calamari is attacked by the lamest super-weapon ever, the World Devastators, giant(ish) ships that eat planets like lame versions of Unicron. But like, tiny bites. It'd take days for a fleet of them to eat a planet with minimal interruption. They have plot armor, because all Imperial super weapons do. Han and Leia swing by Nar Shaddaa on their way to find Luke. They meet Han's old girlfriend, and an even older Jedi. Lots of double crossing ensues, but they make it to Byss where Luke has agreed to serve the Emperor (dun dun dun... it's obvious he's faking it the whole time). Palpatine has clones! But he's so evil they deteriorate rapidly. Maybe Leia's unborn kid ...

It's been how long since I did one of these? How did I format them? I think after over explaining Heir to the Empire I'm going to go a little more informal with these. Honestly, I don't love 'em. I talked before about how HttE  Thrawn is peak Xanatos-scheming. In the later books, the plans get kind of goofy. The asteroid blockade of Coruscant in particular stands out. 1. A cloaking device in combat (briefly) or when you're not being looked for (slip in) is one thing. Putting them on asteroids and parking them over Coruscant is dumb. Couldn't you just use some space glitter to reveal them? Or make a corridor with tractor beams? Something? 2. They're real trusting about Karrde's count. "Haha! I had more asteroids!" is very Thrawn. The entire "off camera" Katana fleet hijacking is kind of disappointing as well. I get the urge to go for "I did it 35 minutes ago", but it's the climax/set piece for the second book, and it'...